


Did You Ever Love Her, Do You Know? Or Did You Never Want To Be Alone

by gendfleur



Series: She's In A Long Black Coat Tonight, Waiting For Me In The Downpour Outside [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Davesprite Doomed Timeline, Doomed Timeline, Gen, Whoop Whoop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7817884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gendfleur/pseuds/gendfleur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when there's only two humans left in the universe?</p>
<p>You're about to find out, you suppose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> no dersecest comments [kissy emoji]
> 
> yeS theres a pREQUEL
> 
> if youve already read the fic that started it all (when the city goes silent) id........ advise you to reread SORRY i changed some stuff (minor stuff bt youll b confused if youre going off just that fic)
> 
> but you can read this fic w/out ahving read it

TG: jade  
TG: jade seriously  
TG: jade answer me i mean it  
TG: jade  
TG: jade  
TG: fuck

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] \--

TT: John.  
TT: John, I can't see you.  
TT: Please answer me, John, I'm very worried about you.  
TT: John.  
TT: John.  
TT: Fuck.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

TG: okay where the fuck are they  
TT: How am I supposed to know, Strider.  
TT: Please, tell me how on fucking Earth I'm supposed to know what happened to our friends, neither of whom I can see anymore and neither of whom are contacting me anymore.  
TT: I'll wait.  
TG: dont get cagey and snarky with me lalonde  
TG: you were the last one to talk to jade  
TT: Yes, well, you were the last one to talk to John, so I suppose this is both of our faults.  
TG: dont pin this on me what the fuck  
TG: youre johns server player john is jades i couldnt have done jack shit and you know it  
TT: I'm not John's mother. You know as well as I do that he is notoriously bad at following instruction or suggestion, and more than likely wouldn't have listened to me even if I did tell him what to do.  
TG: i dont fucking know but hes gone  
TT: I'm fully aware of that, considering I can't see him anymore.  
TT: What did he say the last time you talked to him?  
TG: i dont know some bullshit about going to win the game it sounded like he was about to fuck something up but i didnt ask him about it like a tool  
TG: something about a seventh gate  
TT: ... that's the gate to the Denizen.  
TT: The endgame boss.  
TG: okay what the fuck does that mean  
TT: At the level he's at right now, there's not really any way he would've beaten an endgame boss.  
TG: so hes dead  
TG: he just waltzed to his own death like a fucking douchebag  
TT: I guess there's no particular way of knowing right now.  
TG: the fuck do you mean theres no particular way of knowing  
TG: you cant see him you cant get ahold of him i cant get ahold of him he up and decided to go fight an endgame boss  
TG: hes fucking dead lalonde  
TT: He might not be. He might get back to us.  
TG: well either way jades fucking dead so its not like it matters does it  
TT: We could be wrong about Jade being dead, too.  
TG: literally can it with the positive thinking bullfuckery  
TG: theyre both dead and you goddamn know it  
TG: the last we heard of john was he was going to try and punch his denizen in the face the last we heard of jade was she was stranded on earth waiting for john to get her into the medium  
TG: considering yknow all the fucking meteors obliterating earth i think its safe to say shes dead too  
TT: I know, okay.  
TT: I know they're both dead.  
TT: I am well aware of the situation we have gotten ourselves into.  
TT: Let me have my five goddamn minutes of denial before dealing with it.  
TG: i  
TG: look   
TG: rose  
TT: I'll be back in ten minutes.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--


	2. Chapter 2

You shut your computer so you can't hear Pesterchum go off. You lie back and close your eyes, taking a deep breath. You try to regulate your breathing, regulate your heartbeat, regulate your thoughts.

None of it works.

Your heart is racing, your breathing is quickened, and you can't stop _thinking._

Two of your best friends are dead, and you were absolutely not prepared for it. Dave's right. Last you heard from her, Jade had left a message on your Pesterchum while you were asleep.

GG: hey rose!!!  
GG: um im pretty worried right now  
GG: its okay! im just...  
GG: the meteors are getting a lot more frequent  
GG: im trying to get john to get me into the medium, but hes not doing it :/  
GG: i know youre asleep right now but i just wanted to give you an update!!  
GG: ill see you soon im sure!!! :)

You can't get over the sheer dramatic irony of her stating she'd see you soon. Now that she's dead, it seems a lot more terrible.

You're also relatively certain that you can't finish the game without them. Two players to finish the rest of the entire game would be difficult, to say the least. Two players who aren't each others' server players is pretty much impossible. Dave is yours, so you could potentially do something with that, but without anyone to be Dave's, it's mostly useless anyway.

Fuck.

You roll to your side and curl up, hiding your head in your arms.

You're in a dead session. With no way to win the game, and no way to even progress further than a certain point, you're going to have to come up with a plan to return this to the alpha timeline. That means time travel, usually.

You're suddenly struck with an idea.

Dave's going to have to go back and set things right, you know that. But if you can level him up, and send him back with a bunch of knowledge about the game, maybe you can make the alpha timeline a little more likely to succeed this next time.

You sit up, take a deep breath, and open your laptop again.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TT: I have a proposition for you.  
TG: if that proposition isnt its time for dave to go back and warn alpha dave about letting john make his asshole decision i dont really care  
TT: It is. But it also isn't.  
TG: helpful  
TT: Just hear me out.  
TT: One way or another, you will have to go back to just before the split and set the timeline on a different track. But before that, there's no rules saying you can't game the system and level up as much as possible, to give the alpha timeline that much more of an edge.  
TT: If you stay here for a little while, we can get some good equipment and information on the game.  
TG: yeah okay  
TT: Well, that was difficult.  
TG: stfu  
TG: i dont really want to go back and die horribly right now anyway  
TT: Fair.  
TT: I'm going to play around with the alchemiter.  
TT: I'd suggest you start grinding levels.  
TG: yeah ill do that  
TG: keep your laptop around ill ping you if i need something  
TT: Please do.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

You recognize exactly why he wants you to stay available. It's the exact reason you agreed to do so.

He's worried.

Understandably so, because you're worried too. In just a few hours, you've lost two of your best friends, and you two are the last human beings in existence. If something happens to either one of you, you'll be alone, and with how things have been going, it's not a far stretch.

You decide that's enough obsessing for now. Time to get to work.

 

* * *

 

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

TG: you there  
TT: Sure am.  
TG: great okay so im working on my quest and i found this hugeass sword  
TG: but its like in a rock and i dont know how to get it out  
TT: Perhaps only the pure of heart can remove the sword from the stone.  
TT: Your many years of sending me furry porn is coming back to bite you in the ass.  
TG: i dont regret it at all  
TG: watching you rip apart the anatomy errors is better than any sword could possibly be  
TT: I feel somehow fulfilled.  
TT: I can die happy, knowing my critique of poorly drawn furry pornography has made an impact on someone's life.  
TG: anyway do you have any real advice  
TT: Not really.  
TT: The most I could give you is to try and research some methods for it.  
TT: What's it called?  
TG: caledfwch  
TT: ... really?  
TG: yeah why  
TT: It sounds Welsh.  
TG: it sounds like not enough vowels  
TT: Yes, that is a trademark of Welsh.  
TG: maybe if i just  
TG: uh  
TG: well shit  
TT: You broke it, didn't you.  
TG: maybe  
TT: Well, I suppose that is one less problem for us to deal with.  
TG: yeah its not as if we have too few problems right now  
TT: True.  
TT: Speaking of which, I'm going to send you some captchalogue codes I think may help you.  
TT: I've been working off some ideas John left behind, and I think I've gotten the hang of some things.  
TG: nice

 

* * *

 

 

It's... somehow nice, having something to occupy your time. You wouldn't think anything would be "nice" in a broken timeline, but it's at least as nice as it could be. The first few days is spent trading help, alchemiter codes, research, little cheats, anything you can find for each other.

It's also spent trading help in a much different way.

In literally four days, you build up a repartee with Dave that pulls slightly past the bullshit of the past. When you put two snarky and sarcastic people together, it usually results in a lot of dodging sentimentality and feelings in favor of an act that makes it look vaguely like both parties have it together. When you put two very worried and scared people together as the last two humans in existence, it results in something much, much different. Not that you're not still snarky and sarcastic, you're just... slowly doing away with the mask. Letting yourself both feel things and at least hint around the edges that you're feeling things.

It's nice.

On the fourth night, you go to sleep around midnight, as you have been the last few days.

You wake up at 3AM breathing heavy, a scream gurgling in your throat as you sit up straight in bed, clutching your hands at something that doesn't exist in reality.

Without even really thinking, you uncaptchalogue your laptop.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TT: Dave.  
TT: Are you there.  
TG: sure am  
TG: whats up  
TT: I  
TT: They're really dead.  
TT: Aren't they.  
TG: yeah  
TG: they are  
TT: Fuck.  
TG: it wasnt your fault rose  
TG: you couldnt have done anything  
TT: You don't know that.  
TT: I was asleep. If I'd known John was unresponsive and Jade's meteors were getting more frequent, I could have probably spliced something together and fixed it.  
TG: and if id been paying attention instead of fighting imps i couldve done the same thing  
TG: but i wasnt and i didnt and its not important cause you cant change it  
TG: eventually ill go back and get them back on track and itll be okay  
TT: Are you sure.  
TG: yeah  
TT: What's... what's going to happen to me when you leave?  
TT: Am I going to just... stop existing?  
TG: honestly i dont know  
TG: i dont  
TG: i wish i could give you a better answer rose  
TG: i mean i always kind of assumed that timelines just sorta stopped existing so i guess it might be like that  
TT: The other option is to live out a dead timeline, which isn't really. Ideal.  
TG: rose i dont  
TG: have to go back  
TG: i can stay here  
TT: No.  
TT: You have to make things right again.  
TT: You have to get John and Jade back, and you'll just go back to a different me anyway.  
TG: maybe if we wake your dream self up you can mess with that so that something of you comes back  
TT: It's just me anyway, Dave.  
TT: Either way, it's just me.  
TG: look the other daves that come back in time for me arent just me  
TG: im not going to be the same dave as the dave that i go back in time to  
TG: and just from these few days youre already a different rose from the one im gonna go back to  
TG: so just  
TG: chill out  
TG: its gonna be okay  
TT: Do you really think so?  
TT: Really, truly.  
TT: Don't sugarcoat it.  
TG: i think its gonna be hard  
TG: but i think its gonna be okay  
TT: Alright.  
TT: I'm going to go back to sleep.  
TT: Try and get some rest.  
TG: i will  
TT: And Dave?  
TG: yeah  
TT: ...Thank you.  
TG: no prob  
TG: gnight

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

You rub your forehead and lay back.

You're scared.

You've been scared before. Usually at childish things - past the bullshit, you are, after all, a child - but your growing brainshit and this awful game makes you scared of other things. Scared of things you shouldn't be worried about.

You were scared your mom would drink herself to death and she wouldn't ever be in your life again. You are scared you're going to end up like her.

You were scared you would forget to turn off the stove and it would set your house on fire. You are scared you're going to sleep through a call on your phone and it'll be what kills Dave.

You were scared you would kill yourself before your 18th birthday (statistics say 1 in every 5 bipolar people kill themselves). You are scared this game will kill you before your 14th.

You take a deep breath and let yourself drift off. _It's okay,_ you remind yourself. _It's okay._

 

* * *

 

 

Another three days pass, and your time is completely filled up by "What did you say you needed from me again?" and "im telling you this strategy is going to work" (followed very often by "dont say a fucking word lalonde"). You found a bootleg version of Pesterchum that allows video and voice chatting, and both picked that up, dealing with a couple bugs in exchange for the voice and video features.

It's 4am when you hear your computer ring with the video call ringtone. You open your eyes only slightly unwillingly - you and Dave have made a promise that if you need each other you'll call through the video app to wake the other party up.

You sit up and turn on the lights, to keep you awake, and pull your computer out of your sylladex, drawing up Pesterchum.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TT: I'm here.  
TG: im s orry  
TT: You don't have to be sorry, Dave.  
TT: What's wrong?  
TG: the yre fuckgn  
TG: t alkinf to me  
TT: Who?  
TG: the fucki nng horrorterorrs theyre in my fucjing heaf theyre speaking to me g et them out  
TG: fucking  
TG: g et thrm out  
TT: One second.

You blink, and without thinking you call upon Them. You're perfectly willing to trade over your mental health for Dave's. It's laughable to think that you wouldn't.

Suddenly, the black slime fills your mind, and it's harder to breathe for a second until your body gets used to the construction around your lungs.

_Your constant needs tire us, Seer._

You sigh slightly. "Apologies," you reply. "Are you involving yourself with Dave?"

There's an ever so slight pause before they reply. It gives away a lot, to you.

_We are involving ourselves where we must be involved._

"And I need you to stop doing that," you reply firmly, or as firmly as you can get, standing up to beings that have controlled your life for years now.

_We will do whatever we need to do._

Their voices are dark, angry, and you feel a twinge of panic before pushing it down, taking a deep breath and thinking out your reply before saying it. "You don't belong in Dave's head," you say, your voice still firm despite your mild panic, a fact you're very proud of. "You belong in mine. He hasn't done anything to you. Leave him alone."

_What will you give us in exchange for this, child?_

This is how it always works. You give something over in exchange for a favor. The first time, the very first time, when you were 11, the favor was getting rid of an obsession, and the something was your dedication to them. You were so scared, and so young, and you didn't know exactly what you were signing away.

You know exactly what you're signing away now. But you also know exactly what you're getting.

"I want you to at least scale back on Dave. In exchange, I will let you into my dreams." You know they've been wanting that for a while. They've never been able to get it, because your initial contract never said they could. But this would be explicit for them.

There's a long pause, and that's how you know they're thinking it over, and you pray to anyone who's not them that they accept.

_Fine. We will pull back on him._

You let out a tiny little breath you didn't know you were holding, and nod slightly. "I will honor my side of the bargain for as long as you do." You don't worry that they won't hold to it. They're all about bargains, and despite their existence as terrifying, very powerful elder gods, they are also very good at honoring their agreements, even if they're very often looking for loopholes.

_Accepted._

Suddenly, your head is mostly clear, and you can finally breathe again. You take a deep, slow breath before grabbing your computer. You have to blink away staticky strands of thread across the computer screen, but you can see it.

TG: ro se wha tare you doung  
TT: You should feel them less in a few seconds. They won't likely be properly gone, but it'll be a lot more manageable.  
TG: wh at didd you do  
TT: I'll tell you later.  
TG: ros e  
TT: I'll tell you later. I don't want to overwhelm you.  
TG: fin e  
TG: i m sorr y  
TT: You don't have to be sorry. It's not your fault. They're finicky and bullshit.  
TG: yeah  
TG: sorry f or wakign you up  
TT: I told you, you can wake me up whenever you need me.  
TT: You extend the same to me, it would be both obnoxious and kind of shitty of me to not return the favor.  
TG: ims orry anyway  
TG: thanks  
TT: Of course, Dave.  
TT: Do you think you can go to sleep now?  
TG: yea h everyythjngs kind of  
TG: calming dow n  
TT: Good.  
TT: I'm glad.  
TG: i thin k img onna  
TG: head to sleep no w  
TG: are you doing okya  
TT: I'm fine, Dave. Don't worry about me.  
TG: alright  
TG: goodnight  
TT: Goodnight.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

You take a deep breath and shut off your computer. This next part is going to be the hard part.

You now have to go to sleep, knowing the horrorterrors can do basically whatever the hell they like in your brain while you do. You know full well, from all you know about them, that this could range from "creepy but harmless" to "blatantly traumatizing" to "surreal and somehow helpful." And you don't particularly feel like spinning the wheel today.

Unfortunately, you're tired. You're really, really tired, because talking to them always tires you out, and you haven't been sleeping well these last few days anyway.

Fucking dicks in a basket.

You take a deep breath and lay back, closing your eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

"This doesn't have to be the phenomenal shitfest you're assuming it's going to be, you know."

"I know." You don't open your eyes. You know you're dreaming, you know who you're talking to, and you don't feel like expending the extra energy. You are, however, minorly intrigued that they didn't pull out anything new after that deal you made. "But making it anything else involves letting you do what you want, and I steadfastly refuse."

A sigh, and you can imagine her leaning back in her chair (probably a love seat, or a recliner, if the couch you're laying on is any sign). "We're not the bad guys you make us out to be."

You snort. "Well, I'm really sorry the constant psychological horror you put us through gave me the wrong impression."

You can hear her rolling her eyes. "Playing god is difficult," she replies dryly. "Being god is more so."

"I don't suppose I have anything that can convince you to leave literally the only two remaining beings in existence alone?" Your tone is sort of bitter and angry, and you're only vaguely upset you didn't manage to straighten that out.

She sighs, and you can hear her standing up and walking over to you. You still don't open your eyes. "We still have use for you," she says, and you can almost imagine she sounds sorry.

Too bad your subconscious' projection of the Horrorterrors (mixed with a healthy dose of the real thing) doesn't have any use for those emotions.

 

* * *

 

 

TG: so is it completely far fetched to expect an explanation  
TT: An explanation for what?  
TG: rose seriously were the last two 13yos ever living through the end of the world  
TG: you can cut the crap  
TG: it wont make me like think less of you or whatever bullshit  
TT: I did it because you don't deserve to deal with that.  
TG: and you do  
TT: What's that supposed to mean?  
TG: again  
TG: cut the crap  
TG: we both know you did something or other that fucked you over  
TG: because the terrors dont just back off because someone told them a scary bedtime story  
TT: I'm perfectly able to make my own decisions.  
TG: rose  
TG: super hate to burst your bubble  
TG: but youre thirteen goddamn years old  
TT: Oh, and you're not?  
TG: of course i am you fucking moron  
TG: i just have the good wits to be scared out of my goddamn mind about the whole fucking shindig  
TG: like look i cover it over a little but any fucking normie off the street could tell im pants shittingly terrified  
TG: you do this weird rose lalonde emotionless coverup (tm) and its scary  
TG: you dont have to pretend right now yknow  
TG: were both scared  
TG: for good fucking reason  
TG: im not gonna think youre childish or some bullshit because guess what  
TG: youre a child  
TG: im a child  
TG: we got thrown into terrifying nightmare land together and just because were gonna have to make some adultish decisions doesnt make us adultish  
TG: jesus christ rose  
TT: I know.  
TT: I'm. Sorry.  
TG: you dont have to be sorry  
TT: I am anyway.  
TT: I'm just.  
TT: I'm scared, Dave.  
TT: And I'm used to being scared.  
TT: I'm used to worrying, and obsessing, and trying to control everything. I'm used to being afraid that I'll die, or that I'll do something wrong and someone else will die.  
TT: But this is new.  
TT: I can't control this.  
TT: This isn't "I might die," this is "I'm going to die, and it's a countdown until I do."  
TT: And I'm not... angry. I'm not angry that this is how it has to be.  
TT: I'm just fucking terrified.  
TG: i dont want to leave you  
TG: its not right  
TT: None of this is right.  
TT: Besides, you said yourself that there's a big chance it'll just disappear.  
TT: Maybe I'll just disappear, and all the worrying will be for nothing.  
TG: maybe  
TT: I won't, will I.  
TG: theres a chance you will  
TT: Come on, Dave. In your honest opinion as the time-travelling one.  
TG: probably not  
TG: theres just  
TG: no reason why a timeline would immediately vaporize with one person in it if it didnt with two  
TT: That's kind of what I thought.  
TT: Well, damn.  
TG: i dont want to leave you  
TT: You have to, Dave.  
TT: You have to.  
TT: You have to be a hero for them.  
TG: theyll never even know  
TG: im gonna go back and get them on the right track and die an awful death and thatll be goddamn that  
TT: I'll know.  
TT: I promise, I'll know.  
TT: I'm never going to forget you, no matter how long I end up staying here.  
TT: I swear.  
TG: i dont wanna be a hero rose im 13  
TT: You're going to be a better hero than anyone I've ever seen in a history book.  
TT: That much, I can promise you.  
TG: we always sound so much older than we are  
TG: freaks me the fuck out  
TT: Well, maybe we're just little old men in teenage costumes.  
TG: thats even freakier i think  
TG: gives me the fuckin willies  
TG: would that still count as catfishing dyou think  
TT: Not if you're also a little old man in a teenage costume.  
TT: Catfishers can't catfish other catfishers.  
TG: you make this worth it yknow  
TG: not to get gross and mushy but  
TG: i wouldntve lasted a minute here without you  
TT: And me without you, Dave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i'm awful at this updating thing blah blah blah i'll try harder in the future to do every other week

**Author's Note:**

> leave me mean comments if u want [heart emoji]


End file.
